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70 essays on the parts of dating that feel hardest: the first message, the first ten minutes, and the silence in between.

Confidence7 October 2025

Getting back into it after a dry spell

The longer the gap, the bigger the first step feels — and the smaller it actually needs to be.

Confidence30 September 2025

Stop comparing yourself to everyone on the app

You are comparing your ordinary Tuesday to a hundred people's best six photographs.

Confidence23 September 2025

Most of attractiveness is behaviour

Nobody has ever fallen for someone because of their jawline. They fell for how it felt to be around them.

Confidence16 September 2025

Dating again after a long relationship

The rules moved while you were away, but less than the internet will tell you.

Dating apps9 September 2025

Dating apps in a small town

In a city the problem is choice. Everywhere else, the problem is that you've seen everyone by Thursday.

Dating apps2 September 2025

Which dating app should you actually use?

The best app is the one the people near you are using, and no article can tell you which that is.

Dating apps26 August 2025

Are the paid features worth it?

Some of it buys you genuine convenience. Most of it buys you the feeling of doing something.

Dating apps19 August 2025

How to read a profile properly

You can learn more from three lines of someone's writing than from six of their photographs.

Dating apps12 August 2025

Unmatching without guilt

Ghosting is rude in some situations and completely normal in others. The line is clearer than the arguments suggest.

Relationships5 August 2025

How often should you text when you're dating?

One of you texts all day and the other checks their phone twice. Neither is wrong, and it's a real problem.

Relationships29 July 2025

Saying what you want early

The fear is that saying what you want will scare people off. That's precisely what it's for.

Relationships22 July 2025

Attachment styles, without the jargon

Half the internet is diagnosing strangers with attachment styles. The underlying idea is still useful, if you keep it simple.

Relationships15 July 2025

Ending something after a few months

Three months in, there is no clean way out that doesn't involve one uncomfortable conversation. Have the conversation.

Relationships8 July 2025

Your first argument

The first argument is not a bad sign. Never having one by month six is the thing to worry about.

Relationships1 July 2025

Dating someone with a very busy life

Busy is a real condition and it's also the most common excuse in dating. Telling them apart is the whole skill.

Relationships24 June 2025

When they live two hours away

Distance doesn't kill early relationships. Ambiguity about the distance does.