When a date goes wrong

There are three different bad dates and they need three different responses. Treating them the same is how people end up trapped for three hours being polite to someone they'll never see again.

The awkward one

Nerves, stilted conversation, silences with a metallic taste. This is the most rescuable of the three, and usually the most common — you're both performing rather than talking.

What helps: name it. "We're both being very interview-ish, aren't we?" almost always produces a laugh and a reset. Failing that, change the physical situation — move to the bar, go outside, walk to a second place. Movement fixes an extraordinary amount.

The boring one

Nothing is wrong. There's just nothing there. You've tried three topics and everything lands with a soft thud.

Give it one genuine shot — ask something you actually want to know, and offer something real about yourself. If it's still flat after that, end it warmly at a natural break. An hour is a complete date. "This has been nice — I'm going to head off, but good to meet you" needs no justification and no fake early start.

The uncomfortable one

Something is off: they're rude to staff, they won't drop a subject, they've made a comment that landed badly, they're pushing your boundaries or drinking heavily, or you simply feel uneasy and can't fully say why.

Leave. You do not need a reason that would hold up in court, and you don't need their agreement. "I'm going to call it a night" said while standing up and putting your coat on is sufficient. If you'd rather not say it at all, go to the bathroom, message your friend, and leave from there. Feeling rude is a smaller cost than staying.

The exits worth having ready

• "I've got an early start, I'm going to head off."
• A friend who'll call you at a pre-agreed time, no questions asked.
• Somewhere public, with your own way home, from the start.

Afterwards

A bad date is not a lesson about you. Sometimes people are a poor match, sometimes someone behaves badly, and neither is a referendum on your worth. Tell a friend, have a laugh about it if it's funny, and don't cancel the next one out of disappointment.

The short version

• Awkward is usually fixable — name it or move somewhere new.
• Boring: one honest attempt, then end it warmly after an hour.
• Uncomfortable: leave immediately, no justification required.
• Have an exit and your own way home arranged beforehand.